Dear, that was one gorry story for sure ! :-)
Just a tip: in China, they have these mini-watermelons, about the size of a grapefruit. Most chinese shops sell those, you could give them a try, and still get a chance to share Mr. Eyebrows food orgasms without the ... err ... after-effect. :-)
Be well,
Pierre
Posted by Pierre Carles at November 26, 2006 06:26 AM
Everyone knows you toss rotten watermelons out the window. I believe there's a holiday in Arkansas to that effect.
Posted by jk at November 26, 2006 07:26 AM
That was even better than I had envisaged.
Almost a rerun of the dreadful meat frigo in Greenaway's "The Cook, The thief, His Wife and Her Lover".
And you certainly have a way with words. Or them with you. Or both.
Your watermelon was a normal size one, the type my Love goes through in 3 days (Summers in Rome can be HOT and these things are indeed full of water).
Well now you know:
- To stay away from the stuff unless they are just selling slices at your nearby grocery store and
- Should you ever contemplate hacking a human being into pieces, how much would THAT weight and how much trouble it would be for you to get rid of the body. You don't want to try and feed that junk to your rats despite all the legends about human flesh eating monster rats - you never know where humans have been or what they have submitted themselves to...
:)
Posted by spacedlaw at November 26, 2006 08:07 AM
oh god this post had me in tears. great to read your blog again
Posted by David Kulen at November 26, 2006 09:08 AM
Watermelon corpse. And I thought Scottish people knew about watermelons from when they owned african slaves for a couple hundred years in the American South? I'm reporting you to watermelon court. Your future melons will be taken and placed in foster homes where they will be beaten, then later become runaways and sleep under bridges and beg for spare change on the street with the other melon orphans.
Posted by snyder at November 26, 2006 06:35 PM