Damn Blowhards

I've had a terrible day today--it began with the worst Hitler dream yet*, and degenerated from there--so, rather than listing all the loathsome things that happened, I'd like to get a spot of revenge on the world by doing something needlessly mean. Ready? Okay, here it is.

The following is addressed to someone I don't like. That person doesn't know I don't like them, but does stop by here quite frequently. Oh, my God! Is it you? Is it you? Is it you?

Hey, nitwit! The best way to convince the world you haven't got a high IQ, a large penis, or a black belt in karate is to speak up, unprovoked, to say you have.

Hey, maybe I'm talking to myself!--although I think I could come up with at least one easier way of convincing the world I haven't got a large penis.

Also, here are two completely gratuitous and off-topic** pictures of Stella's shiny nose***:

* It wasn't so bad, to start with. It was one of those breezy spring mornings you get, where the street's full of chatter and the sky's full of birdsong. I was shuffling around enjoying the weather. Nearby, a synagogue had opened its doors, and people were trickling in. It was a peaceful scene. Except--except then more people came, surging all around. I got swept into the synagogue too (with the crowd, sort of thing), and then Hitler got swept in, and you can imagine how well that ended. The details are too vile to recount, but it finished with Hitler grabbing me by the arm and parading me around as an example of Aryan perfection. I tried to hide my face with my sleeve, but everyone had seen. "Embarrassing" wasn't quite the word for it. Come to think of it, I'm not sure quite what sort of word fits a situation of that nature.

** Assuming this entry could be said to have anything as coherent as a topic.

*** It isn't supposed to be shiny. It gets that way from being rubbed over everything from my feet to the grouty bit between the bathtub and the floor. I used to yell "Rubbing!" whenever I caught her doing it, but it's a bit like yelling "Masturbating!" at a horny monkey--not too effective, and may get you bitten.