We couldn't get a whole lot of photos with Rat A in. She insisted on doing a complete about-face every two seconds, presenting us with a whole lot of hairy rat's arse. Rat A is a lot like me: when the lens comes a-pointing, she comes a-cropper. Not very photogenic.

The ones we did get are as follows:

1) Us rats like to call this the Maple Key Dance. You spin around and around till your eyes won't focus, and your tail gets all tangled up with your feet. Dance, Rat A, dance!

2) Maple Key aftermath. Ohhhhhh....

3) This is her good side. Catch her pointing the other way, and you might just turn to stone.

4) Those whiskers never stop twitching!

Then, there's Rat B. The trick to photographing Rat B is in getting her to do something. Anything!

1) Rat B would sit like this all day, if she was allowed.

2) Scratch her behind the ears, and she practically has an orgasm! Look at those eyes! There's something unhealthy about this picture.

3) That vacant look in her eyes is not a trick of the light.

4) "... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...?"

5) In this picture, Rat B is slopping out of my hands like a scoop of warm ice cream. She is making no effort to support herself, nor yet to break free.

6) The camera's somewhere off the right. To the left, there's nothing at all. Rat B is looking left.

7) This is me pinching Rat B's ears together, and Rat B not giving a hoot. On lazy Sundays like this, you can do anything to Rat B, and she won't protest. I could've held this position indefinitely.

8) She doesn't know the cracker is there. Shortly after this picture was taken, I put it directly in her mouth. Only then did she begin to eat.

This filthy, filthy packbawky just wandered in while we were shooting. I don't know where it came from. Horrible, scrofulous thing. We chucked it out the window.

1) Unwelcome birdsong
scourge of the slugabed set;
the price of springtime.

2) Fouling featherbomb;
is this an April snowfall,
or a frenzied fowl?