Last Year's Resolutions

Last year, round the end of December, I made a list of resolutions to be kept in 2004. Within a week, predictably enough, I'd forgotten all about it, and keeping to its terms became more a matter of luck than one of resolve. Still, let's have a look back, see how I fared:

1. Make Stella happy

Is Stella happy? It's difficult to tell, really. She seems lively enough, hopping around on the furniture and stealing everything in sight. She's gained in confidence (and in mass and volume, to boot), and no longer hides when I open her cage. She sleeps longer hours, and allows me to pick her up more frequently. Aggressive bites are less common, but playful bites are on the rise. (About this last, I am not happy, but what's a bad rat to do?)

Verdict: Resolution (apparently) kept. Well done.

2. Behave more attentively towards long-distance friends.

I remembered my father's birthday this year, which I didn't do last year. However, I forgot two friends' birthdays, mailed several gifts late, and slacked off on e-mail responses in January, February, March, August, and November. I managed to offend one friend and confuse two others, and piss off my mother, whose birthday I also forgot, now that I think of it.

Verdict: Boo! Hiss! Fail! Try harder in 2005!

3. Keep the poorhous at bay for another year.

Although I did not literally end up in debtors' prison this year, I did get several threatening letters from the Royal Bank, reminding me of my bill-paying obligations. While I kept to the letter of this resolution, I neglected the spirit a little, I think.

Verdict: Resolution kept--but next year, stay on top of those bills!

4. Find a reliable way to earn more money.

I almost starved to death this summer. I lost fifteen pounds, and became so weak I could barely stand. If it hadn't been for the kindness of friends, I'd have a) died, or b) eaten Stella. As I prepare this list, I am no longer starving, but my Visa bill's at $3,500 again, and my chequing account has $132.49 in. My RRSP, however, is back up to $650, five hundred of which has been put into a GIC. (Except that Mother says I should've gone with a low-risk mutual fund instead, so I lose again.)

Verdict: Better luck next time!

5. Get shut of a person who's proven dishonest, manipulative, and conniving in the worst possible ways.

While I didn't get shut of her, as such, it wasn't because I chickened out, or anything like that. I decided, in the end, that it was better to accept her for what she is, and not take anything she says terribly seriously. I believe this was the correct course of action.

Verdict: Nicely done!

6. Kill Hated Enemy Steve, or put him from my mind forever.

Since killing him seemed rather a tall order, I plumped for the putting him from my mind option. Although--although "plumped for" implies that it was a conscious decision, and I'm not so sure it was. While I still loathe him completely when I remember to, I haven't felt any particular need to dwell upon it lately. I've not quite decided if this is a good thing or a bad one. Hating Steve used to be a--a fact of life, sort of thing. I got up in the morning; I ate breakfast; I hated Steve. I worked all day, and hated Steve. I did the ironing, and hated Steve. There was a little Steve-hating in everything I did. Now, for no reason I can pick out, I only hate him when I'm reminded to do so.

Also, I haven't destroyed a single inanimate object this year, that I can recall. I have the same keyboard I did when I bought this computer, and my mouse was all right till I dropped it on the floor.

Verdict: Free of murderous rage. Most likely an improvement.

7. Write a book about rats (not for publication--just for the hell of it).

Oops! I forgot all about this one. I did, however, write several rat stories, which, if lumped all together, might form a book. (Well, if you go by word count, anyhow.)

Verdict: Nice try! FAIL! Ah, well. Maybe next year.

8. Draw more silly and amusing sketches.

I have drawn a great many silly and (to me, at least) amusing sketches this year.

Verdict: Yeah, now draw something serious, ya lazy rat! (Resolution kept, though.)

9. Find new and interesting ways to cheat on my taxes.

I found one--making so little money I won't be taxed at all! Nah, just kidding. This was not a real resolution, and was ignored accordingly.

Verdict: So, computer games ARE a legitimate writeoff, then?

10. Avoid dating any hosers, sleazebags, paupers, or smelly folks.

I've hardly dated anyone, this year. The few dates I have gone on haven't exactly been stellar, but I didn't follow my old pattern of continuing to date the hoser/sleazebag/pauper/smelly guy for several years, just to make sure he was really hosey/sleazy/poor/smelly. All in all, I think my loser-avoidance techniques have improved significantly.

Verdict: That's all very well, but this year, try dating someone good!

11 & 12. Eat properly for a change and get more exercise.

I've been a saint, I tell you--a saint! I've been down the gym every day, spring water in one hand, celery in the other. Man, you should see my biceps! (Liar, liar, pants on fire!) Well, all right--I've not been to the gym once, but I have been learning to cook, so that's a start. And I've been going out walking whenever I can. I've been having less heartburn, and since I moved out of my old flat, my general health seems to be improving, as well.

Verdict: Could've done better; could've done worse. Next year, please bear in mind that a salad is not the only possible way to eat vegetables.

I must say, I did better than I'd expected.