My Life: The Text-Based Computer Game Edition

> You enter the WC. There is a toilet here. There is a bathtub here. You see here a plunger, a toilet-brush, a saucepan, a fluffy towel, and your toothbrush. Exits are to the south (hallway).
ENTER COMMAND > USE TOILET
> You can't. It's stopped up.
ENTER COMMAND > USE PLUNGER
> You don't have it.
ENTER COMMAND > GET PLUNGER
> You pick up the plunger and put it in your pocket.
ENTER COMMAND > USE PLUNGER
> What do you want to do with the plunger?
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET
> You stick the plunger in the toilet and wriggle it around. A plumber, you ain't.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET HARDER
> The toilet does not appear satisfied.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH GUSTO
> You plunge the toilet with great enthusiasm. The cup turns inside-out.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH VIM AND VIGOUR
> Bending over, you give it to that toilet like it's going out of fashion. The toilet gurgles.
ENTER COMMAND > FLUSH TOILET
> Oh, no! The toilet is overflowing! Water splashes onto the floor.
ENTER COMMAND > KICK TOILET
> You kick the toilet. Ouch! That hurts!
> The toilet is overflowing!
ENTER COMMAND > BAIL TOILET OUT WITH SAUCEPAN
> You don't have it.
> The toilet is overflowing more! Your trousers are getting wet!
ENTER COMMAND > GET SAUCEPAN
> You pick up the saucepan and put it in your pocket.
ENTER COMMAND > BAIL TOILET OUT WITH SAUCEPAN
> Splash! Splash! Splash! You heave pan after pan of filthy toilet water into the bathtub. It splatters all over you, especially on your head and face.
ENTER COMMAND > FUCK YOU!
> I do not understand "fuck".
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH VIM, VIGOUR, AND GUSTO
> The floor is wet. You do not have sufficient leverage to plunge with vim.
ENTER COMMAND > LOOK AROUND
> You are in the WC. There is an overflowing toilet here. There is a much-bespattered bathtub here. You see here a plunger, a toilet brush, a saucepan, a fluffy towel, your toothbrush, and a huge pool of water on the floor. Exits are to the south (hallway).
ENTER COMMAND > GET FLUFFY TOWEL
> You pick up the fluffy towel and put it in your pocket.
ENTER COMMAND > THROW FLUFFY TOWEL ON FLOOR
> You dash the poor towel to the floor. The towel sniffles.
ENTER COMMAND > STAND ON TOWEL
> You stand on the poor, sad towel, which is no longer fluffy.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH VIM, VIGOUR, GUSTO, AND FURY
> Arrrrrrrr! You jam the plunger down the toilet's porcelain throat. The plunger is now stuck in the toilet.
ENTER COMMAND > PULL PLUNGER
> The plunger is stuck fast.
ENTER COMMAND > WIGGLE PLUNGER
> The plunger goes further down the toilet.
ENTER COMMAND > NO WAY DOES THAT PLUNGER FIT IN THERE. THIS IS NOT FAIR.
> The plunger is getting away!
ENTER COMMAND > YANK PLUNGER
> Throwing your back into it, you yank the plunger with all your might. The plunger comes loose with a resounding slurp and an enormous jet of sewer water. You are splashed. Your toothbrush is splashed. You think there may be toilet water in your ear.
ENTER COMMAND > THAT DIDN'T JUST HAPPEN!
> Yes, it did.
ENTER COMMAND > FLUSH TOILET
> Oh, no! The toilet is overflowing! Water floods, splashes, and spews onto the floor.
ENTER COMMAND > BAIL TOILET OUT WITH SAUCEPAN
> Splash! Splash! Splash! You heave pan after pan of filthy toilet water into the bathtub. It splatters all over you, especially on your head and face.
ENTER COMMAND > NOT THIS AGAIN!
> It never ends.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH TACT AND DELICACY
> Feeling very British, you give the toilet a gentle tootle. Nothing happens.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH DILIGENCE
> You plunge the toilet for five minutes straight. Your lower back hurts like hell. Nothing happens.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH CARE AND SENSITIVITY
> Listening intently to the toilet's every gurgle, you plunge with the flow--now harder, now softer, now in little circular motions. You think you hear a gurgle.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH DELICATE PERSISTENCE
> You ask the toilet if it's read any good books lately.
ENTER COMMAND > I SAID DELICATE PERSISTENCE, NOT LIGHT CONVERSATION.
> Sorry. You plunge around the edge of the toilet, missing the hole entirely.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND DEVILS
> You plunge the toilet like it's never been plunged before. The toilet gurgles beneath your ferocious assault. Your back REALLY hurts.
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE TOILET SOMEWHAT LAZILY
> You plunge the toilet in a lax sort of way. A rat bites you.
ENTER COMMAND > WHAT THE HELL? THERE IS NO RAT IN HERE!
> There is, now.
ENTER COMMAND > TELL RAT TO PISS OFF
> The rat bites you again, and drinks some of the toilet water.
ENTER COMMAND > CATCH STUPID RAT
> You catch the rat. It bites your hand.
ENTER COMMAND > EXIT SOUTH
> You are in the hallway. Exits are to the west (living room), south (rat room), and east (outside hallway).
ENTER COMMAND > EXIT SOUTH
> You are in the rat room. There is an empty cage here. Exits are to the north (hallway).
ENTER COMMAND > PUT RAT IN CAGE
> You put the rat away. The rat is angry. The rat will get you later.
ENTER COMMAND > FINE. EXIT NORTH
> You are in the hallway. There is a trail of wet, nasty footprints here. Exits are west (living room), south (rat room), and east (outside hallway).
ENTER COMMAND > EXIT NORTH
> You are in the WC. There is an ungodly mess here. You see here a plunger, a toilet brush, a saucepan, a sad-sack towel, and your utterly ruined toothbrush. Exits are to the south (hallway).
ENTER COMMAND > PLUNGE ME, BABY, ONE MORE TIME
> You plunge the toilet with grim resignation. You hear a loud gurgle. The toilet flushes!
ENTER COMMAND > REALLY? REALLY?
> The toilet flushes!
ENTER COMMAND > HALLE-BLOODY-LOO-JAH!
> You slip in a puddle and break your neck. Game over.
ENTER COMMAND > BUT--BUT...THE TOILET FLUSHED, RIGHT?
> Game over. N to start a (N)ew game, R to (R)estore a saved game, Q to (Q)uit?