Respectacles

I'm most extraordinarily tired, this evening. Thus, I'll make my observations brief:

MOUSE

There was a mouse in the garden, this morning. It was a very ugly specimen, having two bitten ears, and a lumpy tail. Its back was brown, and its belly yellow. Sniffing out my breakfast (half a liverwurst sandwich, garnished with parsley,) it fixed its gaze upon me, and refused to go away.

"I'll give you the last bite," I said, "but you'll have to wait. I won't rip a piece off for you. My fingers might touch liverwurst, then. If that happens, I'll lose my appetite. Touching liverwurst is like touching decaying flesh."

On the third-last bite, the mouse ran away. Tough luck, longtail.

NOTE

There was a note pinned up in the lift, this morning. Being the honest and considerate Rat that I am, I pinched it. It said:

Milano tenants,

More than once, I have stood on your used gums in the lobby. Please use respectacles on corners of Davie & Burrard.

--[Note-writer's name & apartment number]

Respectacles! I wonder....

Respectacles: Second-hand eyeglasses?

Respectacles: Bifocals?

Respectacles: Big, splashy Broadway revivals?

I love this city.