This Place Has Too Many Departments

I noticed a flaw in my plans, today: I don't have a printer. How am I supposed to send out manuscripts (or query letters, for that matter) without a printer? (Even with a printer, it'd be an unlikely scenario--I can't remember the last time I made it as far as the post office. I'd have to take a taxi. I can't afford a taxi.) I'll have to bribe someone to do it for me. What a pain. I hate asking favours. If I ever get an agent, I'm having it written into the contract that he'll do all the printing.

I should pull a JT Leroy, and have famous folks do my grunt work (and then, it turns out I'm some old guy).

I should buy a printer, order some stamps from the Internet, and hire a courier to drop my queries in the mail.

What a doofus. This is the worst master plan ever. I have, however, nearly finished the second draft of Giant Rats. Progress is being made on the substance of the thing, if not the logistics.

The lemon barley water craving has grown. Or, rather, it's diversified. I think it's the heat. It's making me thirsty. I want a litre of each of the following:

1) Lemon barley water (of course!);

2) Irn Bru;

3) That frothy yogurt drink I had in Milan, with the little strawberry bits;

4) Bubble tea, bitter melon flavour;

5) Fizzy lemonade;

6) That weird, foamy stuff Uncle Arthur brought, when he visited Grandma in Prestwick;

7) Julmust;

8) Iced coffee, with lots of cream and cinnamon.

?