Ugly Wry-Necked Monster Rat

I knocked off another greyscale painting last night, and a very intricate one it was, too. It had very nearly everything I dread painting on the computer in it: tangled roots, crackly wall textures, cobblestones--everything that would take five strokes with oil paint, and five hundred in Photoshop. But I shut off my browser (to keep myself from becoming distracted by the Internet in moments of frustration), put on Don Giovanni, and set to work. As a testament to the length of time I spent on this painting, I started working on it--and listening to 'Don Giovanni'--right after dinner. Before I had finished, not only had I listened to all three CDs of Don Giovanni, but also La Forza del Destino, La Traviata, Aida, and half of Lucia di Lammermoor. I'm really quite hoarse. (I never have been able to resist singing along.)

Today has been spent in a rather more bizarre manner so far. I got up early because of a fire drill, and while I was up (and locked out of the building) anyway, I decided to go down to Emily Carr to sign up for my grad review panel. There wasn't much point in going down just for that, but I figured I might as well, as long as I was feeling well enough. Otherwise, I could be waiting days for another patch of good health, during which time everyone else would take all the good slots. I spent almost half an hour looking for the dean's office, which I had thought was on the third floor of the South Building. You'd think I'd know it is, in fact, on the second floor of the north building by this time, but I didn't. In my defense, I've only been there twice in four years.

When I got home, I put on a heinous disguise (...and another look!), and recorded several black and white video segments. They are to be part of one of my senior studio projects. I was originally meant animate something (the teacher's idea, not mine), but after trying all term to get something--anything!--to move across my screen, I realized it wasn't going to happen. I am a terrible animator; the worst. I've never animated anything in my life, aside some animated .gifs of questionable taste and quality. Thus, I'm putting together a video version of a story I wrote in last term's creative writing class, instead, using everything from Flash to Photoshop. My ugly tailless rat, Shakespeare, has also secured a starring role in my bad movie, as an ugly tailless cyborg rat. Shakespeare's acting, unbelievably enough, is even worse than mine. She's a real ham*.

Poor Shakespeare. The more I look at the videoclips, the more I realize what an ugly, wry-necked little monster she really is. It must be hard, being hideous. Other rats must laugh and point. Hell, I sometimes laugh and point. Ah, well. She was probably Adolf Hitler in a previous life. Or Jack the Ripper. She deserves it.

At any rate, my film-making skills are almost as nonexistent as my animation ones, so I'll be relying heavily on cheesy humour, campy effects, and my professor's compassion in this endeavour. I think my efforts in the makeup and costume department have set the tone quite well, eh?

I will be spending the rest of the evening eating (I've just ordered potato soup and chicken salad from Tony Roma's), editing my lovely new videoclips within an inch of their sorry lives, and trying to get the eyeliner out of my eyebrows. Once I've done all I can stand with the videoclips, there's another greyscale painting with my name written all over it, and after that, sleep. I am very tired after going out today, especially since I had to get up early, and all. I hate getting up early. If I'd wanted to get up early, I'd have joined the Marines. They get up early. Me, I'm an artist, and artists sleep in. It's part of the job description.

Anyway, enough silliness for one day. Got to get back to torturing Shakespeare work.

Oh, yeah--I very nearly forgot. I was going to get drunk yesterday, seeing as it was Vendetta Day, and all, but I drank one glass of vodka, smiled at the warm feeling it gave me, and fell asleep. Ah, well. Probably for the best.

* [Footnote added in August of 2005] - According to me, anyway. Nearly everyone else who saw the video thought the rat was the best part.